Family Guy [OV]

Peter decides to take Lois on a second honeymoon. But when things go awry, they end up posing as a famous actor/director to stay in his fancy hotel suite, where they inadvertently discover a copy of "The Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This." Peter and Lois attempt to destroy the film and end up in a high-speed chase with two Catholic priests hell-bent on saving the movie.

When Chris' teacher wins the lotto and quits, Brian fills in as the substitute. All's well until Brian is moved to another class where he must teach troubled kids to aim low. Meanwhile, Chris is instantly smitten with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, who promises to be with him if he kills her husband.

Peter becomes jealous of his friends' achievements ? Mort bowls a perfect game, Joe gets a guilty Quagmire off on unsavory charges and Quagmire accidentally saves a woman's life ? so he decides to break a Guinness record to achieve something that he will be remembered for after he dies.

When Meg asks a cute boy at school on a date and he turns her down, she looks to her family for support. In an effort to cheer her up, Lois takes Meg to the mall, where she gets the ultimate makeover. Meanwhile, Peter tries to start a band with the guys, but it's Meg's new look that has the record producers singing their praises.

When Peter hears screams coming from Cleveland and Loretta's house, he tries to help but discovers Loretta in a compromising position. Peter identifies the other man as Quagmire and decides to tell Cleveland of his wife's extracurricular activities. But when Loretta walks out on Cleveland he doesn't take it lying down.

At a game night among friends, Lois lets Peter win at Trivial Pursuit, which leads Peter to gloat and think he's a genius. Brian knows the truth and challenges Peter to prove his intelligence by getting an IQ test. But when the test results determine Peter is legally mentally challenged, everyone ends up looking stupid.

When "The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog, they recruit Brian to be a contestant. He signs up for the free martinis and food, but ends up falling in love with the reality starlet, Brooke. Brian wins her heart ? and the final rose ? but when the cameras are turned off, this romance made in TV heaven takes a turn for the worse. Meanwhile, Chris gets a horrible case of acne.

When Peter runs up a tab at the local pharmacy, the only way out of paying the bill is to sell Meg to the owner's son, Neil, who has been stalking her for months. But when Neil starts dating another girl, Meg becomes jealous and goes on the hunt to find a boyfriend of her own. Meanwhile, Stewie goes gaga over his hot new babysitter, Liddane.

When Lois is short on cash and can't pay her grocery store bill, she resorts to stealing. The adrenaline rush from shoplifting sends her on a stealing spree that spirals out of control and leaves her behind bars. Back at home, the family is a mess without Lois, so Peter and the kids decide to break her out of the clinker to get things back to normal.

When the Griffins visit Lois' parents, Lois realizes that her father prevented her from fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming a model, so she returns to Quahog and hits the catwalk. Lois is an instant hit, but the glamorous world goes to her head and Peter has to step in to get her back on track. Meanwhile, Stewie starts a pyramid scheme business and hires Brian as his assistant.

When Brian attends a PTA meeting, he meets Meg's high school teacher and starts to date her. This new relationship puts a strain on Peter and Brian's friendship, so Peter finds solace in new best friend, James Woods. Meanwhile, "The Da Vinci Code" leaves Stewie unable to sleep.

When Peter and the guys go on a fishing trip, they end up in choppy waters that leave them stranded on a desert island. Months later, the guys are rescued from the island and Peter returns home to discover the new man of the house has a bark that's worse than his bite.

When Chris discovers he'll be hazed as part of a high school ritual, he runs away to South America, where he assimilates to the uncivilized, tribal culture. Meanwhile, Peter is forced to look for a job, but after several failed attempts he decides he's tired of starting at the bottom of the ladder.

After a controversial mishap occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter's favorite television shows. Peter retaliates by creating his own TV station ? "PTV" ? which he operates out of the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create some edgy hits for the station, until the FCC shows up and starts to regulate their everyday life.

After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian lands a job with the prestigious New Yorker. However, his college dropout status haunts him so he decides to go back to Brown University to get his degree. As Brian struggles to pass his class, Stewie enjoys the college lifestyle. Meanwhile, Peter and his friends combine forces to help the city (or so they think).

When Stewie intensifies his efforts to kill Lois, she thinks he is acting out and orders Peter to spend more time with him. They begin to do some bonding until a theme park outing ends disastrously. Meanwhile, Chris does some bonding of his own when he develops a friendship with Herbert after breaking his window.

When Lois drags Peter to the doctor for a physical, his diagnosis is clear: he's too fat. This news drives Peter to form the NAAFP, an advocacy group for the advancement of fat people. Meanwhile, Lois discovers her long-lost brother, Patrick, and fights to get him released from an insane asylum.

When Peter's dad visits the Griffins, he tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family. But after a mishap leaves Stewie stuck living in a bubble, Peter searches for a new religion finding faith in his television hero the Fonz. But "Happy Days" are not quite here as the newly established Church of the Fonz struggles to retain its members.

After an accident lands Brian in the hospital, he has a near-death experience that leads him to take a new lease on life. He finds a passion for singing and develops a new nightly gig with Frank Sinatra Jr., but his "live in the moment" lifestyle only goes so far. Meanwhile, Meg's sexuality swings the other way.

At his high school reunion, Peter pretends to be a big-shot millionaire to impress his classmates, but the truth comes out when he meets Tom Brady and loses all self-control. Peter makes a drunken run for the bathroom that impresses Brady and lands Peter a spot on the New England Patriots football team. Life is great for the Griffins until Peter's new high profile goes to his head.

When Peter goes on a television game show and wins a maid for a week, Quagmire becomes smitten with her and ends up popping the question. But when Quagmire's bachelor tendencies resurface, he takes some serious steps to get out of the marriage. Meanwhile, Stewie fights against breast-feeding withdrawals when Lois tries to wean him.

After a pregnancy scare, Peter reluctantly agrees to get a vasectomy. But after the operation, Peter's sex drive becomes nonexistent. When Lois packs on some extra pounds, Peter's interest is renewed and things heat back up in the bedroom until her unhealthy eating habits get the best of her.

When Meg lands an internship with Mayor West, Brian argues that he's corrupt. Determined to expose his shady ways, Brian and Stewie go undercover and discover that Meg is in deeper than they thought. Meanwhile, a local talent show brings Peter and Lois back to their folk singing days. Unfortunately, they also revert back to their hippie ways and Chris must stage an intervention.

After reading an erotic novel, Peter decides to write one of his own and gets Carter to publish it. But when Carter gets sued for Peter's book on tape, he loses all his money and is forced to become a middle-class citizen, much to his chagrin. Meanwhile, with the flick of a switch, Chris becomes a genius and competes with Stewie to take over the world.

While visiting the Griffins, Brian's gay cousin Jasper announces he's engaged to his partner and wants to be married in their home. But when Mayor West bans gay marriage in Quahog to cover up an unrelated scandal, Brian becomes a crazed activist and resorts to hostile ways to change the mayor's decision.