Episode 1
Series 1, Episode 1 M
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At the comprehensive school in Darkley Noone, straw-brained schoolgirl Vicky Pollard explains why she hasn’t done her essay on Lord Kitchener. Inside 10 Downing Street, Prime Minister Michael is having a meeting with handsome new Treasury aide, Gregory Merchant, until jealous Sebastian decides to interrupt. Stingy stage hypnotist Kenny Craig uses his skills to ensure his date only orders the set menu and a soft drink at the Chinese restaurant. Actor “Dennis Waterman” calls upon theatrical agent Jeremy Rent, and Andy demonstrates extraordinary abilities for a wheelchair-bound person.
Episode 2
Series 1, Episode 2 M
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At the newsagent, Daffyd Thomas is astounded to discover that someone has bought his copy of Gay Times. Andy insists on wearing his Smurf outfit. Vicky Pollard is accused of pushing a little girl into the swimming pool. Inside 10 Downing Street, Sebastian is not happy when his briefing is interrupted by Prime Minister Michael’s wife. At Flatley psychiatric institution, inmate Anne is disrupting all Dr Lawrence’s attempts to show an inspector round. Starsky and Hutch celebrity ‘David Soul’ makes a hospital visit, and Marjorie Dawes introduces her class to the FatFighters Slimmer of the Year, Cliff Roberts.
Episode 3
Series 1, Episode 3 M
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After a disastrous by-election, Prime Minister Michael is going through the morning papers with his aide, Sebastian. Vicky and her mates are trying to order drinks in a pub, despite being obviously underage and without ID. Lou and Andy are buying ice creams at the seaside. Stage hypnotist Kenny Craig uses his powers to win at Scrabble while visiting his mother in hospital. At Fatfighters, Marjorie Dawes delights in telling the class all the most embarrassing details about a new member, her sister Barbara. And in his local pub, Daffyd is moaning to Myfanwy that there are no local activities for gays.
Episode 4
Series 1, Episode 4 M
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Daffyd is in denial at the hairdresser, where he is horrified to meet the highly camp Ifan and his boyfriend. So too is transvestite Emily Howard when asked to cover her testicles for an x-ray. Dr Lawrence and Dr Beagrie are in the town library to see how destructive inmate Anne is progressing with her Saturday job. Vicky Pollard ends up in court, where her mutterings make no sense to the judge and jury. In a dance studio, Sandra Patterson watches anxiously as her nine-year-old son Ralph auditions for a commercial. Royal reporter Peter André gets a dressing down from his BBC producer for a very odd item on last night’s news.
Episode 5
Series 1, Episode 5 M
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At the Paul Young Offenders Institution, Vicky Pollard has been summoned to the governess’s office for biting another inmate in the canteen. Prime Minister Michael is holding a press conference at No 10 on the disgraced Foreign Secretary’s resignation. At his poky council flat, ‘resting’ thespian Sir Bernard Chumley takes an intense interest in today’s Meals on Wheels for his strangely silent sister Kitty. The Queen is hosting a garden party but Peter André, Royal Correspondent for the BBC, cannot get in without an invitation. And former Olympic silver medalist Denver Mills is giving out less-exalted medals on Downey Junior School’s prize-giving day.
Episode 6
Series 1, Episode 6 M
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Inside 10 Downing Street, Sebastian cannot remain silent when Prime Minister Michael tackles the Chancellor of the Exchequer about his leadership ambitions. At the office of Theatrical Agent Jeremy Rent,”Dennis Waterman” rejects a job offer for a remake of Minder. At a visit to the doctor Vicky Pollard learns to her amazement that she is eight months pregnant. Lou and Andy are at the newsagents, choosing a birthday card for Andy’s brother. Psychiatrist Dr Lawrence’s family has a special guest staying with them this weekend – his craziest patient, Anne. At DIY Universe, Des Kaye meets former colleague from Children’s TV who are still doing well.
Episode 7
Series 1, Episode 7 M
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Teenage mother Vicky Pollard tells her social worker that she’s swapped her baby for a Westlife CD. Marjorie Dawes is doing her best to forget all about a one-night-stand with fatfighter Paul. In the charming village of Pove, Len Boothe’s conducted tour has a sexually nostalgic commentary. In the local pub at Llandewi Breffi, Daffyd cancels the gay night – horrified at the numbers that have arrived. Nine-year-old child actor Ralph Patterson auditions for a production of Bugsy Malone, while mum Sandra does her best to get rid of the opposition.
Episode 8
Series 1, Episode 8 M
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Transvestite Emily Howard gives a broken-down van driver some most unfeminine help. Daffyd is dismayed when barmaid Myfanwy admits that she too is gay. Peter and Helen are a bit worried about leaving their child with new babysitter Boris. Vicky Pollard is invited back to her old school as a reformed character. Miserly Scot Ray McCooney gets an official visit from the tax collectors. Jason pays a call on his friend Gary’s grandmother, bearing gifts of ice cream, a video of Nine And A Half Weeks and lubricating jelly. Inside 10 Downing Street, Sebastian interrupts an important meeting between Prime Minister Michael and his Italian counterpart. And Andy does a spot of shoplifting when Lou takes him to the supermarket.