The Father

I just watched this movie. As someone who watched their own mother wither away and die from dementia, it really hit home. And toward the end, Hopkins brought back the haunting and heart-wrenchi ng memories of me sitting and holding my elderly mother's hand, tears streaming down my face, trying to console her as she was telling me that she didn't know who she is.

Life is short. You hear that a lot but I don't think many really understand it till you get older. I'm 65 and it's easy to be grumpy and unhappy. You are more alone and ignored (and probably have many aches and pains) and those you helped raise are now too busy with their lives to care that much. They'll lament your passing, collect your things and be consoled that you are better off now. Death is forever. For all of us and those we care about or cared about are probably suffering in silence, unwilling to ask for help or just wanting to be needed. All their life experience is tossed aside and will be forever forgotten. This lesson will tend to be learned way too late when each of us reaches old age. You still think like you always did though so you spend your days and nights, dying of loneliness, unwilling to burden others with your pain. No one wants to be a burden. No one wants to die alone.

What an exceptionally difficult film to watch. But, it's perhaps the most authentic telling I've seen from a film about dealing with someone with dementia. The performances and situations are heartbreaking and challenging. Just like the real life condition it represents. Hopkins and Colman are simply stellar, as well as the production design and editing. (If you pay close attention to the production design, it'll help you follow along the main character's perception of reality).