You Rang M' Lord?

During the First World War Alf Stokes and James Twelvetrees, two private soldiers, save the life of officer Teddy Meldrum. He is eternally grateful. In 1927 James is working as the footman in the house of Lord George, Teddy's older brother, and hopes to fill the vacancy created by the recently-departed butler. After getting the sack from the music hall, Alf Stokes and his daughter Ivy enter service below stairs at the Meldrum house - but Alf is shocked to see a familiar face.

James and Mrs. Lipton, the cook, are suspicious of Ivy, who seems unused to service. Ivy almost catches Lord George in bed with Lady Agatha, wife of his friend Sir Ralph, who, according to George's mother-in-law, Lady Lavender, horse-whips his wives' lovers. Teddy suspects but George reminds him of his own fondness for serving maids. Nonetheless George is nervous and when somebody paints 'Fornicator' on the side of his car, the staff must hide the offending sight from the visiting bishop. Alf, however, sees the opportunity to make money by being Cupid's messenger for the illicit lovers.

Lady Lavender, whom the rest of the family consider to be mad, asks her solicitor Franklyn, to make over all her shares in the United Jack Rubber Company, the family plantation, to Ivy. Later she calls him back. She has changed her mind and the new beneficiary is Alf, who makes sure Lord George has left the house before Franklyn can tell him. James is tormented by thoughts of George's daughter Poppy, who loves feeling his strong muscles, but he is too straight to follow up Alf's suggestion that he make a play for Poppy.

Lord George considers having Lady Lavender certified insane for giving Alf her shares but the butler refuses to part with them. James misinterprets the signs when Poppy asks him for a midnight feast together and Mrs. Lipton plays a trick on Teddy to stop him molesting Ivy. At a fancy dress party to celebrate the birthday of George's other daughter, the extremely masculine Cissie, Ivy tells Lord Ralph about his wife's affair with George, not knowing who he is.

Whilst Cissy persuades Ivy to deny that she saw anything go on between Lord George and Lady Agatha, Alf rings Ralph and offers to sell him his shares from Lady Lavender if he drops divorce proceedings. However Lady Lavender has again changed her mind and given the shares to Henry, the boot boy, so Alf buys them from him for sixty pounds. Ivy has heard from her mother, Alf's ex-wife, that she has money problems and Henry is surprised to see Alf kiss Ivy.

Fisher the pawnbroker blackmails Alf into letting him into the house, masquerading as a French polisher, to rob the safe whilst the family are watching a recital by the 'progressive' poet Aubrey Wilmslow. Ivy appeals to James to save the situation, which he does, giving the impression that Alf had no idea what was happening and that Fisher is an old comrade fallen on hard times. However it also means that James now knows that Ivy is Alf's daughter.