Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Ok, so it starts out ok, middle is blah, even the ending was bah. I seriously think I threw up a little. Don't get me wrong, the visuals were good, but that's it. There is very little this movie has to offer other than i wasted my damned money and I swear to all things holy I will never buy a movie from Google Play again... I mean come on. I don't know what Wesley is smoking, but the acting is far from good, the storyline is just typical Abe Lincoln story with vampires thrown in, it's utter garbage. I think I'm being EXTREMELY generous with a one star rating. Don't rent it, don't buy it, don't even waste your time if it ever makes it to cable. Wait till it hits ABC or some crap like that. It's just that bad.

This movie was outstanding not for special effects necessarily, but for the way symbolism was used. If you look at vampires as a symbol, you can appreciate the movie on a completely different level. The vampires represent the entire system of slavery - cheap, fresh blood that was easily disposed of - a system fiercely defended by those who benefited from it. And yes, Abraham Lincoln did not have a black chief of staff/sidekick, but he represented Lincoln's committment to the equality of all men before the law. Essentially this movie uses intense symbolism to tell a story of what truly DID happen in another way, not unlike Tim O'Brien's fantastical re-interpretations of Vietnam. In my mind, this is what sets this movie apart from other vampire/slasher films.

Knowing what Timur Bekmambetov is capable of, and loving his other movies (particularly Day Watch), I really wanted to like this movie despite all the reviews I read. Sadly, those reviews were right. Of course the action scenes are excellent, that's to be expected, but the "historical' aspect of the film is so ham-handed that it is a real distraction. The pace of the narrative is so clumsy that I was reminded of those "Drunk History" videos on youtube; it's that bad. I know that both the director and the writer are capable of better. I look forward to giving them another shot with their next films.